It's almost been a full week being here at ywam denver. Things have been good, yet its going to take some time to get used to living in community. You realize how selfish you can be. That's something I am trying to die to daily. Die to my selfishness and my wants, and in place be a servant to the needs of others around me.
My prayer for this season is to be refined in the fire of the Lord. Everything in my heart that is not of Him, I want removed. And as of yesterday I am seeing that happen. At first I wasn't sure what was going on, but after talking to some friends the Lord used them to show me He is answering my prayer. He's refining me. He's getting rid of all the crap in my heart, the hurt I've been through, and still hold onto, unknowingly. I'm in a way, joyful about it, because I see what He is doing and I can feel the process of the refining. I see the answer to the prayers I'm praying.
Yesterday we were given an overview of what this school will look like with projects, ministries, and book reports. I'm really excited about it all! Some of it terrifies me...lol, but I don't find that a surprise. What I do find a slight surprise is how willing and how much I'm looking forward to the outreaches...we as a school will be leading. I've always been afraid of things like that. The responsibility of it all. It goes to show how good God's timing is. If I would have done this school 2 years ago, I would not have been ready. Ha...i would have dreaded it. But, a lot has happened in my heart and mind since my dts ended. In a way, I'm a completely different person. I thank God that He has brought me here at this time. I've made some good friends and hopefully they will be life-long ones at that.
<3
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Jesus. Worship. Intercession. Servant hood. Humility. Flexibility.
this is what ywam has been the first several days.
Not going to lie,It's been extremely tough mentally and emotionally. I'm an introvert and lots of people drain me. Not that I don't love meeting new people and making new friends, it's just an easy thing for me. But, jesus is good! And He is giving me the strength to press on and trust Him.
That is a major focus the past couple days. Trusting Him. He's asking me to leap into His arms and trust He will catch me. And that is what I'm trying to do. It's not easy...and sometimes I'm not sure what it looks like in the physical, but I'm doing all I know how and know He will not leave me or let me down.
IRELAND- There is a team going around Dec 18 or 19th thru February 13 or 14, and I'm really wanting to go. Honestly, haven't heard the lord say this is the place to go, but haven't heard its not either. I'm drawn to it very much. Would you pray with me about this? the total cost is $2700 and I have to have $1350 in by the 29th of this month...(i belive that is the date) I know I have to have that much before the end of this month. As of right now I have no finances to go. BUT! I know that God provides in many ways, and I've seen Him do that over and over again! Never once has He failed me, and so here I am, trusting Him to provide if this is where He wants me to go.
Things to pray for concering the trip-
Wisdom and discernment.
Finances
For a willing heart..whether I go to ireland or not, just to trust the Lord and obey.
Thank you for praying with me on this!
this is what ywam has been the first several days.
Not going to lie,It's been extremely tough mentally and emotionally. I'm an introvert and lots of people drain me. Not that I don't love meeting new people and making new friends, it's just an easy thing for me. But, jesus is good! And He is giving me the strength to press on and trust Him.
That is a major focus the past couple days. Trusting Him. He's asking me to leap into His arms and trust He will catch me. And that is what I'm trying to do. It's not easy...and sometimes I'm not sure what it looks like in the physical, but I'm doing all I know how and know He will not leave me or let me down.
IRELAND- There is a team going around Dec 18 or 19th thru February 13 or 14, and I'm really wanting to go. Honestly, haven't heard the lord say this is the place to go, but haven't heard its not either. I'm drawn to it very much. Would you pray with me about this? the total cost is $2700 and I have to have $1350 in by the 29th of this month...(i belive that is the date) I know I have to have that much before the end of this month. As of right now I have no finances to go. BUT! I know that God provides in many ways, and I've seen Him do that over and over again! Never once has He failed me, and so here I am, trusting Him to provide if this is where He wants me to go.
Things to pray for concering the trip-
Wisdom and discernment.
Finances
For a willing heart..whether I go to ireland or not, just to trust the Lord and obey.
Thank you for praying with me on this!
Monday, October 5, 2009
people watching..at the airport..its great.
Wow! It's the big day! Its time! I'm really going to ywam again! It's really happening! haha...ahh,i'm so excited. In a way its hard to believe that I am really going back to ywam. The Lord has truly blessed me. It's so amazing to me, when I think about the fact, that the Lord really does know my heart,even better than I do myself. I've haven't felt this much peace in a while.
This is a new season. A new beginning. My prayer for this new season is that God would set a fire in my heart and burn away all that does not honour and glorify Him. To have a passion and desire for Him like I once had, but in a new and deeper dimension.
The was a rain/snow/sleet storm this morning. Oh Fall, where have you gone? Why must you hide? I love you winter, but please, its not your time.
Good things are coming! And there is a lot more of Jesus for me to discover.
Some specific prayer requests if you feel led:
Easy transition
Ability to focus and understand what I learn.
A humble heart.
Thanks!
This is a new season. A new beginning. My prayer for this new season is that God would set a fire in my heart and burn away all that does not honour and glorify Him. To have a passion and desire for Him like I once had, but in a new and deeper dimension.
The was a rain/snow/sleet storm this morning. Oh Fall, where have you gone? Why must you hide? I love you winter, but please, its not your time.
Good things are coming! And there is a lot more of Jesus for me to discover.
Some specific prayer requests if you feel led:
Easy transition
Ability to focus and understand what I learn.
A humble heart.
Thanks!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
His Mercies Will Be Remembered Forever.
This week has been a tough one..ha...and its only Tuesday. But, even though its been tough, there is one wonderful highlight!
Let me tell you..
For several months I've wanted a laptop. I'd save and then something would come up and I'd have to use that money for something else and so the, "laptop fund" never really happened. lol Through the months I had been praying and asking the Lord to give me one. I believe He will give whatever the need is and even the wants, just because He loves me and He loves to give.
Now, I really want a Macbook, but definitely don't have the money right now to buy one because I have to pay my tuition for ywam. Because of that, my eyes were slightly distracted at the idea of getting an Acer. Checking it out, seeing if it might be a possibility. It's nice looking and more affordable. So, I checked them out. But, I still knew it wasn't a possibility before ywam. Maybe several months after, with lots of saving.
The past 2 weeks I started asking the Lord more seriously. haha. Saying, "please, Lord, provide a laptop I need." Now, NEED is the keyword here. All I needed a laptop for, was to put pictures on, charge the good 'ol ipod, and then get on the internet. I know that the Lord heard my prayers and would answer in His time, but I didn't really think it would be before ywam departure.
Sunday afternoon i'm talking with some friends at church and they ask if I will have internet access where I will be. I say yes, I don't have a laptop, but there are computers and I'm sure everyone else and their brother will have a laptop. lol Later that evening I am checking my email, when I see something in my inbox titled, "Laptop?". I then proceed to click on the email and wonder what it's about. As I read this email I'm in complete shock and joy! The friends I had been talking with said they had an older laptop that was in good condition and wasn't being used and wanted to offer it to me for what it was worth. :o)
After I read that email I told my family, (who was sitting behind me in the living room) and then started weeping. I mean weeping. I couldn't help it. I was completely blown away by Gods Faithfulness. He actually gave me a laptop. Jesus actually gave ME a laptop!!! HOLY COW!!! The only way I could express myself was through tears. God reminded me with the little act of how big He is. Even though my request was not neccessarily a need, it was still a desire of my heart and He answered. He gave me something simple and sufficeint. Isn't He so good.
I've since picked up my laptop and yes, it is old. It's almost 10 years old, but it is in great condition. I love it. I love my gift from Jesus (and the people who were used by Him :)
Let me tell you..
For several months I've wanted a laptop. I'd save and then something would come up and I'd have to use that money for something else and so the, "laptop fund" never really happened. lol Through the months I had been praying and asking the Lord to give me one. I believe He will give whatever the need is and even the wants, just because He loves me and He loves to give.
Now, I really want a Macbook, but definitely don't have the money right now to buy one because I have to pay my tuition for ywam. Because of that, my eyes were slightly distracted at the idea of getting an Acer. Checking it out, seeing if it might be a possibility. It's nice looking and more affordable. So, I checked them out. But, I still knew it wasn't a possibility before ywam. Maybe several months after, with lots of saving.
The past 2 weeks I started asking the Lord more seriously. haha. Saying, "please, Lord, provide a laptop I need." Now, NEED is the keyword here. All I needed a laptop for, was to put pictures on, charge the good 'ol ipod, and then get on the internet. I know that the Lord heard my prayers and would answer in His time, but I didn't really think it would be before ywam departure.
Sunday afternoon i'm talking with some friends at church and they ask if I will have internet access where I will be. I say yes, I don't have a laptop, but there are computers and I'm sure everyone else and their brother will have a laptop. lol Later that evening I am checking my email, when I see something in my inbox titled, "Laptop?". I then proceed to click on the email and wonder what it's about. As I read this email I'm in complete shock and joy! The friends I had been talking with said they had an older laptop that was in good condition and wasn't being used and wanted to offer it to me for what it was worth. :o)
After I read that email I told my family, (who was sitting behind me in the living room) and then started weeping. I mean weeping. I couldn't help it. I was completely blown away by Gods Faithfulness. He actually gave me a laptop. Jesus actually gave ME a laptop!!! HOLY COW!!! The only way I could express myself was through tears. God reminded me with the little act of how big He is. Even though my request was not neccessarily a need, it was still a desire of my heart and He answered. He gave me something simple and sufficeint. Isn't He so good.
I've since picked up my laptop and yes, it is old. It's almost 10 years old, but it is in great condition. I love it. I love my gift from Jesus (and the people who were used by Him :)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Life as we know it?
My life as I know it will change in exactly 10days. And it can't come soon enough! I'm so ready to leave..not neccesarily because I'm sick of this place, I'm more ready to leave, because I'm sick of work and people who are just plain jerks when their coffee is not made "right". Do you, (rude person) work here? Are you a trained Barista? I think not. So shut-up and let me make the drink. (I had a rude customer the other day..and I'm slightly peeved.) Starbucks has a policy of - The Customer is ALWAYS right. Always say Yes.- In some ways, yes that is a good policy to have, but in other ways, that is the worst policy. Customers are NOT always right. They don't always know what they are talking about. They aren't trained. It irritates me, because those who do know the policy will sometimes take advantage of it. And I have no say. I can't say, "you're wrong. It was made to standard. It was made the way you wanted." But, nothings ever good enough for some people. Now, I know that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. I make mistakes all the time, especially on peoples drinks. (not intentionally) But, that does not give a person a reason to be rude and make another feel like an idiot. It irks me.
I honestly cannot wait to get away from my job. I've never really been one to stay at one place for a long time. I always get bored. Routine is not my cup of tea. I'll miss the people..and the free coffee :o) But, not the "job" itself. haha
Moving on....
YWAM DENVER!!! Yes! I'm so excited! I really cannot wait for this new season to begin. I'm also very nervous. Meeting new people is fun, but it also terrifies me in some ways. Big crowds have never been my favorite, but I know it will be good! I'm excited to see what God is going to do during these 3 months. I really need a fresh encounter with Jesus. My heart has become numb is ways. I've lost the fire and passion...its hard to care about things..spiritually. I don't like it one bit. But, I find it hard to fight it. It's especially difficult to set aside time to be quiet before the Lord. I think living in a community with a set schedule will help out a lot. I've learned the past year that I do not do well on my own. I think I was made to live in a community. :o) So, ywam may become a permanet home. WHO KNOWS!
The other day I was driving to work early in the morning and was listening to David Crowder *Band's version of, "Oh How He Loves" on the radio. It's such a good song! As I was listening it came to the line {and I don't have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way You love us.} And at that moment the Holy Spirit just poured Himself over me and I realized, I DON'T have time! It's not worth it! God's love is so much bigger, stronger, and more pure than all my regrets! I just need to look to Him. Gaze upon His face, His love, and His Mercy. That just made my day so much better. :o)
My Jesus is so good. I desire to live in His mercies. Each and every day. Over and over again.
I honestly cannot wait to get away from my job. I've never really been one to stay at one place for a long time. I always get bored. Routine is not my cup of tea. I'll miss the people..and the free coffee :o) But, not the "job" itself. haha
Moving on....
YWAM DENVER!!! Yes! I'm so excited! I really cannot wait for this new season to begin. I'm also very nervous. Meeting new people is fun, but it also terrifies me in some ways. Big crowds have never been my favorite, but I know it will be good! I'm excited to see what God is going to do during these 3 months. I really need a fresh encounter with Jesus. My heart has become numb is ways. I've lost the fire and passion...its hard to care about things..spiritually. I don't like it one bit. But, I find it hard to fight it. It's especially difficult to set aside time to be quiet before the Lord. I think living in a community with a set schedule will help out a lot. I've learned the past year that I do not do well on my own. I think I was made to live in a community. :o) So, ywam may become a permanet home. WHO KNOWS!
The other day I was driving to work early in the morning and was listening to David Crowder *Band's version of, "Oh How He Loves" on the radio. It's such a good song! As I was listening it came to the line {and I don't have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way You love us.} And at that moment the Holy Spirit just poured Himself over me and I realized, I DON'T have time! It's not worth it! God's love is so much bigger, stronger, and more pure than all my regrets! I just need to look to Him. Gaze upon His face, His love, and His Mercy. That just made my day so much better. :o)
My Jesus is so good. I desire to live in His mercies. Each and every day. Over and over again.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
#1
Well, here I go. My first blog. Let me tell you about my life, shall I?
I live in Utah. Moved herea year ago this past June from South Alabama. The longer I live here, the more I love it. Now, some of it I don't really like. But, all places are like that. Alabama has wonderful qualities and then it also has things that I could definitely do without (like humidity and bugs)! Utah has beautiful mountains and I love the mountains! It has cool air, snow, beautiful fall colors, snow, hot summers, dry heat, snow,and lots of snow. :o)
I'm leaving Utah for the beautiful Arvada, CO in exactly 2 weeks! When my family moved here to Utah I was unsure of what I was going to do. I had just finished a 3 month internship at the International House of Prayer (IHOP-KC) in Kansas City, MO. From January 5th to March 25th I was spending nights in the prayer room and sleeping during the day. What an experience that was! Fire in The Night. A season of finding and seeing just who I was created to be. A season of seeing who God really is. Something that changed me. Forever.
Because of this experience, I fell in love with KC and wanted to move there. Stay there for as long as I could and just soak in the 24/7 worship and prayer. But, after my internship ended I went home and helped my family pack up the house and headed across the country to Northern Utah. Took us 4 days, but we made it. :o)
Right before I left to go home from ihop, I felt the Lord tell me to stay in Utah for 1 year and then He would give me the desire of my heart. At that time (and it still is today) I wanted to pursue training to be a Midwife. A few years ago when I was at YWAM Nashville doing a Discipleship Training School (DTS) I felt the Lord place this calling on my life and the desire to become one has just increased through the years. That said, that's what my plan was. After a year, here in Utah, I would pursue any way possible of becoming a Midwife. And I did just that. I tried every route possible. I really want to be a lay-midwife and work overseas. So i tried a Birth Attendant school with ywam in Australia. I tried a Midwife college in the Phillipines. I tried to start Nursing school and then get a masters in Midwifery. I tried to become a CNA and start there, hoping to get into midwifery in some way. haha, as you can see, I tried every way possible. I even tried findind local midwives to train me and I had no such luck with any of them. I did pray and seek guidance from Jesus. With each thing I would ask the Lord to either open or close that door, and He was faithful to answer that. lol
This past July I went to StudentLife camp in Durango, CO with my youth group. During one of our worship sets with Todd Agnew(who's pretty amazing, fyi) I felt the Lord say, SOMD. SOMD stands for School of Ministry Development which is a secondary school at YWAM Nashville. I felt He was saying it was time to go back to ywam. HAHA, boy did I get a big surprise! That was the last thing I was expecting. It wasn't in my plans. Not that I wasn't open to it, it just wasn't even a thought. I was just so focused on becoming a Midwife. But, I got so excited when He said that! YWAM! Seriously Lord?! So, I started thinking of where I wanted to go. I'm really close with the ywam lousiville staff. I did a summer internship with them and a few there were staff of my DTS. So, i thought of going back East. But, I've also become extremely close to my family. Something that hasn't always been. The move out here was, what I believe brought us closer. So, I wanted to stay close to home. And the Denver base came to mind. Peter Warren, who is the director of the ywam denver base came and spoke at my dts and I just loved his teaching and the week he spent with us. I also have several friends who have been to the denver base for schools and so I decided to check it out. After a week or 2 of further praying and talking with a friend, I applied for their Phase 2 school. A leadership school. And was accepted 3 weeks later!
The Lord has provided everything I need, and more! It's awesome to see His faithfullness! I'm very excited to begin this new season of my life. I know that Jesus has good good things in store for me. :o)
I live in Utah. Moved herea year ago this past June from South Alabama. The longer I live here, the more I love it. Now, some of it I don't really like. But, all places are like that. Alabama has wonderful qualities and then it also has things that I could definitely do without (like humidity and bugs)! Utah has beautiful mountains and I love the mountains! It has cool air, snow, beautiful fall colors, snow, hot summers, dry heat, snow,and lots of snow. :o)
I'm leaving Utah for the beautiful Arvada, CO in exactly 2 weeks! When my family moved here to Utah I was unsure of what I was going to do. I had just finished a 3 month internship at the International House of Prayer (IHOP-KC) in Kansas City, MO. From January 5th to March 25th I was spending nights in the prayer room and sleeping during the day. What an experience that was! Fire in The Night. A season of finding and seeing just who I was created to be. A season of seeing who God really is. Something that changed me. Forever.
Because of this experience, I fell in love with KC and wanted to move there. Stay there for as long as I could and just soak in the 24/7 worship and prayer. But, after my internship ended I went home and helped my family pack up the house and headed across the country to Northern Utah. Took us 4 days, but we made it. :o)
Right before I left to go home from ihop, I felt the Lord tell me to stay in Utah for 1 year and then He would give me the desire of my heart. At that time (and it still is today) I wanted to pursue training to be a Midwife. A few years ago when I was at YWAM Nashville doing a Discipleship Training School (DTS) I felt the Lord place this calling on my life and the desire to become one has just increased through the years. That said, that's what my plan was. After a year, here in Utah, I would pursue any way possible of becoming a Midwife. And I did just that. I tried every route possible. I really want to be a lay-midwife and work overseas. So i tried a Birth Attendant school with ywam in Australia. I tried a Midwife college in the Phillipines. I tried to start Nursing school and then get a masters in Midwifery. I tried to become a CNA and start there, hoping to get into midwifery in some way. haha, as you can see, I tried every way possible. I even tried findind local midwives to train me and I had no such luck with any of them. I did pray and seek guidance from Jesus. With each thing I would ask the Lord to either open or close that door, and He was faithful to answer that. lol
This past July I went to StudentLife camp in Durango, CO with my youth group. During one of our worship sets with Todd Agnew(who's pretty amazing, fyi) I felt the Lord say, SOMD. SOMD stands for School of Ministry Development which is a secondary school at YWAM Nashville. I felt He was saying it was time to go back to ywam. HAHA, boy did I get a big surprise! That was the last thing I was expecting. It wasn't in my plans. Not that I wasn't open to it, it just wasn't even a thought. I was just so focused on becoming a Midwife. But, I got so excited when He said that! YWAM! Seriously Lord?! So, I started thinking of where I wanted to go. I'm really close with the ywam lousiville staff. I did a summer internship with them and a few there were staff of my DTS. So, i thought of going back East. But, I've also become extremely close to my family. Something that hasn't always been. The move out here was, what I believe brought us closer. So, I wanted to stay close to home. And the Denver base came to mind. Peter Warren, who is the director of the ywam denver base came and spoke at my dts and I just loved his teaching and the week he spent with us. I also have several friends who have been to the denver base for schools and so I decided to check it out. After a week or 2 of further praying and talking with a friend, I applied for their Phase 2 school. A leadership school. And was accepted 3 weeks later!
The Lord has provided everything I need, and more! It's awesome to see His faithfullness! I'm very excited to begin this new season of my life. I know that Jesus has good good things in store for me. :o)
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