Thankful

Today I'm thankful for God's constant pursuit of my heart. Sometimes I forget how much He truly does want me, just for me. I realize that I can be really hard on myself and I expect perfection, when I know that it isn't possible for me to ever be that.

I've realized I have held this over myself a lot recently and haven't "allowed" God to love me for me.

But once I acknowledged what I was doing and accepted His unconditional love, I felt such a peace wash over me. That I am enough;just as I am.

The past few weeks I've been praying that the Lord would begin to use me. I want to be one who is not just pursuing the Lord's heart, but who is also pursuing relationships with His people and stepping out to bring His life to others. I want 'rivers of living water' to flow out of my heart.

This past Sunday, I was asked to lead worship at my church. There is no doubt in my mind. This is the Lord answering my prayers. Music is an area where I know I am gifted and I truly come alive in. But, with it being a gift, I also feel it's a weakness. I hardly know any musical theory and I can so easily switch from singing harmony to melody. It's ridiculous.

This is one of those instances where I can either allow God to use me despite my weakness or I can try to hold myself to a perfection that I will never meet.

I choose to believe God will use me in my weakness.

This is such a humbling thing I've been asked to do. It still blows my mind that I get to lead His people in worship.

Who am I that I should get this opportunity?

My only prayer and focus is that this Sunday, the people of Refuge Church encounter God. That they are able to taste His presence in a new way.

Not because I am "leading the way", but because this is my desire for people in worship.

I will not just be up on the stage singing and playing away, but I will be right beside them, desperately wanting to encounter Him.

...For the Glory of the Lamb.